I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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