Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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