Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
