I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The power of my boobs compel you
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
