dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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