i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
