You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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