we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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