note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
