So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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