Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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