Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
