Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
