if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
