A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
