How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
