ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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