yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
