some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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