but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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