He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
