you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Pants are for mortals
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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