So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
