Just fell off a train. Bad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
