i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
