She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it because I queefed?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
