So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize