Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
