The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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