Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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