strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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