Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
