I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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