At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
