Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
