I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
