so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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