On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
