Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize