Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
