Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I see more hoeing in ur future
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