If that was your dad, he is hot
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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