dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
