I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
