yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
