Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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