Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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