It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
