Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
