Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
