I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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