i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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