I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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