You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
