just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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