Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
