I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize