I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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