I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
