So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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