honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
