3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
false alarm. still invincible.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize