You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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