It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
