Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
