so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
