Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
