Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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