they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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