i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
