the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
