Your face is a jimmy john
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
