sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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